What can I do if my 17 year old is out of control? (2023)

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What do I do when my 17 year old is out of control?

Parents can (1) report a teen behaving in either way to their local police department, (2) file a court complaint asking a judge to designate the teen a “youth in crisis,” or (3) ask a judge to declare the teen emancipated, giving him or her all the powers of an adult and relieving the parents of any responsibility for ...

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(Dr. Phil)
How do you discipline a difficult teenager?

Tips for discipline
  1. Set clear family rules about behaviour and communication. For example, you could say, 'We speak respectfully in our family. ...
  2. Focus on your child's behaviour and how you feel about it. ...
  3. Talk about, set and use consequences, but try not to set too many.
27 May 2022

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(Dr. Phil)
Do your parents have control over you at 17?


A parent has both the legal right and the duty to control their 16- or 17-year old children, unless they are emancipated.

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(Dr. Phil)
How do you deal with a toxic teenager?

Tip 1: Connect with your troubled teen
  1. Be aware of your own stress levels. ...
  2. Be there for your teen. ...
  3. Find common ground. ...
  4. Listen without judging or giving advice. ...
  5. Expect rejection. ...
  6. Establish boundaries, rules and consequences. ...
  7. Try to understand what's behind the anger. ...
  8. Be aware of anger warning signs and triggers.

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What are good consequences for a 17 year old?

Here are some ideas for appropriate consequences when your teen misbehaves:
  • Ignore Mild Misbehavior. ...
  • Allow Natural Consequences. ...
  • Provide Logical Consequences. ...
  • Assign Extra Chores. ...
  • Opportunities for Restitution. ...
  • Restricting Privileges. ...
  • Types of Privileges to Restrict. ...
  • Explain Restriction Limits.
13 Jan 2014

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(Dr. Phil)
Is taking away a phone a good punishment?

Threatening to take away your teen's phone may seem like a great way to get them to do something. But it's usually not a good choice as a punishment. When you take away their phone, you're turning off the television, banning games, taking away their ability to talk with friends, and grounding them all at once.

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What is toxic discipline?

Parents who attempt to control their children's behavior and/or the situation through separation-based tactics, love withdrawal, and guilt rob their children of the opportunity to learn developmental skills and make independent decisions.

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What to do with a child who refuses to obey?

  1. Overview.
  2. Give Positive Attention.
  3. Praise Compliant Behavior.
  4. Give Effective Instructions.
  5. Offer Specific Choices.
  6. Use Grandma's Rule of Discipline.
  7. Create a Reward System.
  8. Develop a Behavior Contract.
15 Sept 2021

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How do you discipline a child who doesn't care about discipline?

Punishment for Kids Who Don't Respond to Punishment

Embrace natural consequences: When the punishment is specific to the offense and logical, kids have a better chance of modifying their behavior. Praise the right actions: Don't just punish the wrong behaviors. Make a habit of praising good decisions.

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Can a 17 year old make their own decisions?

Legally, children can make their own decisions when they reach the age of majority, which is 18 years of age. This can include decisions about visitation.

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How do you set boundaries for a 17 year old?

Set realistic boundaries with your teenager
  1. letting them know that you care about them, and you are concerned about what they're doing even when you're not together.
  2. making them feel safe and supported.
  3. helping them make informed and sound decisions.
  4. providing them a framework within which they have autonomy.

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At what age does parental responsibility end?

Parental responsibility comes to an end when you reach the age of 18. However, the older you are, the more you will have a say in these decisions. For more information, see: Disagreements about major decisions.

What can I do if my 17 year old is out of control? (2023)
How long should you ground a 17 year old?

Grounding for a week, or two or three weekends is probably sufficient to get the message across without losing it over time. A month may be too long. As the parent of a teen, a shorter time gives you a lesser chance of caving in and reducing the grounding period later.

How do I teach my 17 year old responsibility?

To best prepare your teen for the future, it's important to offer a balance between giving enough guidance and allowing for enough freedom.
  1. Let Your Teen Show How Much Freedom They Can Handle. ...
  2. Create a Schedule With Your Teen. ...
  3. Encourage Your Teen to Help Out. ...
  4. Teach Life Skills. ...
  5. Be Clear About Consequences.
31 Jan 2021

How do you deal with an ungrateful teenager?

In addition to gratitude, you are teaching them how to disagree respectfully. Avoid blaming and shaming your teenager and instead ask thought-provoking questions. Help them understand what the problem is and explain kindly why it is good to appreciate what they have.

Should parents look through texts?

Your kids may not like it, but they'll respect you for being honest. They'll also understand your point of view better if you explain why you want to see what's on their phone: It helps to keep them safe.

Should parents take away your phone?

The answer to this question—should parents take away cell phones at night? — is much more definitive, say the experts. Yes, unless you are absolutely sure your teenager is able to put the phone away (and not pick it up) at bedtime. That's because screens and sleep do not mix.

Why parents shouldn't go through their child's phone?

No amount of spying on our kids is going to make them safer. In fact, it can lead to a host of unwanted consequences, like building mutual distrust between you and your children. It can backfire and encourage them to try even harder to hide risky behavior because they know you're looking for it.

What do you do with an extremely defiant child?

How to Parent a Defiant Child
  1. Look for Underlying Issues. Defiance can stem from a number of circumstances. ...
  2. Take a Break before Assigning a Punishment. ...
  3. Be Consistent with Disciplinary Strategies. ...
  4. Celebrate Your Child's Accomplishments – Even the Small Ones. ...
  5. Prioritize Family Time.
13 Nov 2020

How do you get a strong willed child to obey you?

10 Strategies to live by for effective discipline with the strong-willed child
  1. 1| Remember your 'why'
  2. 2| It's a team effort.
  3. 3| Connection always comes first.
  4. 4| Don't be a lizard.
  5. 5| Get curious.
  6. 6| Meet them where they're at.
  7. 7| Discipline actually means teaching.
  8. 8| The best kind of consequences.
14 Nov 2018

How do I get my child to take responsibility for his actions?

How to encourage your kids to be responsible for their actions
  1. Respond, don't react. Take a deep breath between your child's behavior and your response. ...
  2. Make it safe to come forward with honesty. If/when your child does take responsibility, skip the lectures and resist the urge to pile on the punishments. ...
  3. Be curious.

How long should I ground my 17 year old?

Grounding for a week, or two or three weekends is probably sufficient to get the message across without losing it over time. A month may be too long. As the parent of a teen, a shorter time gives you a lesser chance of caving in and reducing the grounding period later.

What is normal behavior for a 17 year old boy?

Your son may be thinking about their future and goals. They may be a little more realistic about where they are going in life. Or they might still have their head in the clouds about what they want to do and be. Emotionally, your son will be more independent than ever.

What rules should 17 year olds have?

What are some good house rules for teenagers?
  • You will have a curfew. ...
  • You will limit your screen/social media time. ...
  • Everyone at home has chores. ...
  • Abide by the Golden Rule. ...
  • Remember not to take trust for granted.
5 Jun 2022

What boundaries should parents set?

Examples of common boundaries we should set with parents include: Having them call you before coming over instead of dropping in any time. Not giving unsolicited relationship or marriage advice. Respect and not comment on your life choices just because they disagree with them.

At what age are you considered responsible for your actions?

The answer, generally, is 18 — the age when the United States, and the rest of the world, considers young people capable of accepting responsibility for their actions.

At what age should you be responsible for your actions?

Children are generally liable under criminal law for their own actions from the age of 10 years old, although the younger the child, the less likely it might be that the child intended his actions or was acting recklessly.

What is a good punishment for being disrespectful?

Use Restitution. If your child or teen behaves in a disrespectful manner, restitution may be necessary to discourage it from happening again. Restitution is about doing something kind for the victim or doing something to make reparations for the damage that has been done.

Whats a good punishment for your child?

Early Bedtime or Extra Nap: Early bedtime or an extra naptime is an effective positive punishment for younger children. Children do not want to sleep when they could play or be active, so being forced to sleep is a great deterrent to bad behavior. Also, most small children act out more when they are tired.

Is it normal for a 17 year old to be selfish?

Although selfish behavior is normal for teenagers, consistent selfishness can hinder your teen's previously healthy relationships and create other negative effects, like a poor work ethic or lack of social consciousness.

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