What can I do if my 17 year old is out of control? (2023)

What do I do when my 17 year old is out of control?

Parents can (1) report a teen behaving in either way to their local police department, (2) file a court complaint asking a judge to designate the teen a “youth in crisis,” or (3) ask a judge to declare the teen emancipated, giving him or her all the powers of an adult and relieving the parents of any responsibility for ...

PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY

A parent has both the legal right and the duty to control their 16- or 17-year old children, unless they are emancipated.

Threatening to take away your teen's phone may seem like a great way to get them to do something. But it's usually not a good choice as a punishment. When you take away their phone, you're turning off the television, banning games, taking away their ability to talk with friends, and grounding them all at once.

Parents who attempt to control their children's behavior and/or the situation through separation-based tactics, love withdrawal, and guilt rob their children of the opportunity to learn developmental skills and make independent decisions.

Punishment for Kids Who Don't Respond to Punishment

Embrace natural consequences: When the punishment is specific to the offense and logical, kids have a better chance of modifying their behavior. Praise the right actions: Don't just punish the wrong behaviors. Make a habit of praising good decisions.

Legally, children can make their own decisions when they reach the age of majority, which is 18 years of age. This can include decisions about visitation.

How do you set boundaries for a 17 year old?

Parental responsibility comes to an end when you reach the age of 18. However, the older you are, the more you will have a say in these decisions. For more information, see: Disagreements about major decisions.

Grounding for a week, or two or three weekends is probably sufficient to get the message across without losing it over time. A month may be too long. As the parent of a teen, a shorter time gives you a lesser chance of caving in and reducing the grounding period later.

In addition to gratitude, you are teaching them how to disagree respectfully. Avoid blaming and shaming your teenager and instead ask thought-provoking questions. Help them understand what the problem is and explain kindly why it is good to appreciate what they have.

Your kids may not like it, but they'll respect you for being honest. They'll also understand your point of view better if you explain why you want to see what's on their phone: It helps to keep them safe.

The answer to this question—should parents take away cell phones at night? — is much more definitive, say the experts. Yes, unless you are absolutely sure your teenager is able to put the phone away (and not pick it up) at bedtime. That's because screens and sleep do not mix.

No amount of spying on our kids is going to make them safer. In fact, it can lead to a host of unwanted consequences, like building mutual distrust between you and your children. It can backfire and encourage them to try even harder to hide risky behavior because they know you're looking for it.

How do I get my child to take responsibility for his actions?

Grounding for a week, or two or three weekends is probably sufficient to get the message across without losing it over time. A month may be too long. As the parent of a teen, a shorter time gives you a lesser chance of caving in and reducing the grounding period later.

Your son may be thinking about their future and goals. They may be a little more realistic about where they are going in life. Or they might still have their head in the clouds about what they want to do and be. Emotionally, your son will be more independent than ever.

Examples of common boundaries we should set with parents include: Having them call you before coming over instead of dropping in any time. Not giving unsolicited relationship or marriage advice. Respect and not comment on your life choices just because they disagree with them.

The answer, generally, is 18 — the age when the United States, and the rest of the world, considers young people capable of accepting responsibility for their actions.

Children are generally liable under criminal law for their own actions from the age of 10 years old, although the younger the child, the less likely it might be that the child intended his actions or was acting recklessly.

Use Restitution. If your child or teen behaves in a disrespectful manner, restitution may be necessary to discourage it from happening again. Restitution is about doing something kind for the victim or doing something to make reparations for the damage that has been done.

Early Bedtime or Extra Nap: Early bedtime or an extra naptime is an effective positive punishment for younger children. Children do not want to sleep when they could play or be active, so being forced to sleep is a great deterrent to bad behavior. Also, most small children act out more when they are tired.

Although selfish behavior is normal for teenagers, consistent selfishness can hinder your teen's previously healthy relationships and create other negative effects, like a poor work ethic or lack of social consciousness.